The End Could Possibly, Maybe, Be Near

Hey guys.

So, there's alot to talk about tonight. I've missed a whole bunch of weeks, and a whole genetically modified super size bushel of things have happened in that time.

Let's start with right this minute before going into the past.

There's a super storm hurricane rocking the east coast of the U.S. Have you heard about this thing?! There calling it Frankenstorm because its basically a hurricane from the tropics mixed with a crazy storm from the north all whipped together with a full moon (which causes higher than usual tides on its own). It has shut down and evacuated huge parts of the eastern seaboard, including New York. The friggin' New York Stock Exchange is shutting down, and you know what it means when the big guys decide not to make money off of everyone else's backs for a day dont'cha? It means they're too scared to make money. And for those greedy fuckers, thats basically the equivalent of a cold day in hell. Which means we're all in for some crazy shit.

Montreal isn't expected to get the worst of it, only some 90km winds and massive rain. Yes. I said only 90km winds. Because you know what they're calling for in some parts of Southern Ontario near the lakes? 115km winds. Holy crap. Thats enough to blow down trees, lift over cars, and throw your daschund to the moon. ( Okay, maybe those last two were exaggerations but you get my drift. Get it- drift! ha.)

Now, I'm not making light of a very serious situation. Quite the opposite. I'm just coming to terms with how big they're saying this storm is. You know some folks at my office today hadn't even heard about it?! They had no idea what was happening. When I mentioned it they freaked out a little. I mean come on people! Listen to the radio or a news blog or sooooomething.

Because if you've been paying attention lately you'll also have noticed that big earthquakes are happening nearly everyday, everywhere in the world. Even coastal BC had a 7.7 earthquake on Saturday, the largest on record since 1949. Thats crazy. They're still feeling aftershocks from it. My friend in Costa Rica said they had a big one last week, Quebec had one earlier this month.

Now, I'm not one for conspiracy theories and superstition. Not at all. I tend to be very skeptical of everything, not just religion and fairy tales. But honestly, it kinda feels like 2012 might be happening. Freak storms, massive earthquakes and financial bankruptcy across the globe are happening so close together that it honestly feels like mother nature is laughing at us. And she's chuckling and smirking in that way you do when you're arm wrestling someone, only giving it half your strength and they're already sweating and breathing heavily. You know you're going to win, and you figure why not just let them struggle for a little while.

It kinda feels like mother nature is taunting us, knowing that at any moment she could just wipe us out like a kid with a bleach bottle in front of an ant hill. And all the while, we kind of know we deserve it.

And you know, we do deserve it. I'm just wondering if I should spend all my money on a trip somewhere before it all ends.

Heres a poem by my dear friend Jillian Christmas who currently resides in Vancouver. The last line slays me, and all this talk of natural disaster made me think of it.

Good news/ Bad news

Well holy crap.

Theres less than a week left until I fly off to Saskatoon for the Canadian Festival Of Spoken Word with the rest of the Montreal Slam Team. We've been prepping like crazy, and I think we're solid. We're ready. Its time for an intensive week of poetry, competition, old (and new) friends, and a little vacation. I'm excited to see all the poetry family from across the country come together. I think this year will be a great one. I like that Saskatoon is small, and we can walk everywhere we need to go (unlike last year in Toronto- which I've nicknamed the festival of taxi's). I'm really looking forward to this. Not to mention a week at home in Victoria with my people! Oh man. I need to lay on my waffle's (itsalongstoryi'lltellyouanothertime) couch and eat soup while hashing out all the gory details of the last year and a half. I can't wait to see them.

And I need a week of poetry. I need to be rejuvenated. I need to be on fire with passion and love for my people and my art.

I know, I'm emo. Whatever.

Because lately I feel like my life is at a stale mate. Its not terrible, don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining (too much) about my lot right now. It's alright. But still, creatively at least, I feel stagnant. Like my heart needs to be shocked alive again. It feels frozen, or at least lazy.
Yeah, maybe that's it, I have a lazy heart right now.

I'm not much liking it. So I'm hoping like hell a week of poetry will cure what ails me. Or at least remind me of why I do the things I do. Lately I've been thinking it isn't enough, to live like this for those moments when I get to do what I love. To quote Ani DiFranco; "It doesn't seem fair that I'm living for something I can't even define". She's talking about art, so I think it applies here.

To make matters worse; I lost my writing job today. Not because my work wasn't good, but because of cutbacks. Financial matters. They can't justify having two full time writers on staff, and I'm the newest edition so I'm the one to go. They've been letting people go left and right for a couple of weeks. Six people lost their jobs on Friday alone. Scary shit, man. And today was my turn. The company is keeping me on staff, but in a different capacity. I get to be a receptionist - jump for joy! Or not. 

I'm trying to be positive. At least I still have a job, a paycheck coming in and there are good people there that I sincerely like. I like that company so for now I'll do what I have to. But seriously- I thought things were really turning in my direction when I landed that position. I thought all the time working shitty jobs and praying like hell for something, anything where I could write for a living had finally paid off.

(my new panhandling face)

Guess I still have some more dues to pay. Unless you guys have some suggestions?! Anything? Keep in mind I live in a city where I'm not completely fluent in the local language. Options are limited.

This is why you should always have a back up plan. I really need to make one of those.

So whats your back up plan if things in your life ever go seriously awry? It can be anything, carreer-wise, relationship-wise, financially- anything. I need some inspiration. For a creative person, I can't seem to get creative with my own life. And words just aren't cutting it anymore, ya know? I need action.

Sorry, I don't have any poetry today. Here's a song I didn't write by an artist I really like.