Friday, November 23, 2012

Thin Lines- A Question of Health

Happy Friday afternoon everyone.

Thanks to American's celebrating the colonization of native land this week, I'm off work today. I guess that's the bonus of working for a company who's clientele is mainly American. We have to work on Canadian holidays, but we get time off when everyone else is finishing out their 9-5 week. 

I'm not going to go on a rant about how sick celebrating "Thanksgiving" is, I'll save that for another time.

Today I want to talk about health. 

See, the thing is, I think I have a very blurry idea of what being "healthy" means. I know the old 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away' adage, but what does that really mean nowadays when even apples contain mass amounts of chemicals? Yes, buy organic. Yes, buy local. I know these things, and even on my wire thin budget I do try. My biggest problem is that I don't put effort into cooking, ever.

I live alone and frankly cooking for one is a drag. When I get home from work I'm tired. I don't want to spend an hour chopping and stirring and waiting. Its the waiting that drives me crazy. So I go for quick. Or sometimes I don't eat anything at all at night. Then theres the fact that I smoke like crazy and I drink way too much coffee. I probably don't get enough water or vitamins or iron. I get sick alot, from stomach aches to flu's to other random ailments that make no sense. I lose my voice. I walk alot and in the summer I bike everywhere, but in the winter its harder to get exercise. I recently joined an indoor soccer team and we had our first game on Wednesday. I nearly fainted within the first five minutes.

I remember a time when I had boundless energy and was fit. Hell, two summers ago I was a roofer for five months. I was ripped! My muscles were crazy, and I ate more than I think I've ever eaten in my life. Now I work a desk job in an office. My old eating habits have returned, times a hundred.

And heres the honest to god truth: I've struggled with eating issues since I was thirteen. Its come and gone and come back in many different forms over the years. Now I'm all grown up. I eat one meal a day, sometimes only a small one and usually at work because people would notice if I didn't. The people at work actually joke about how much I eat and how its crazy that I'm so small considering what I consume. What they don't know is that I don't eat when I'm not there. What they don't know is that I constantly obsess about what I've consumed, how much I'm consuming, how small I am. I feed on it when people tell me how thin I'm looking, even if its with a tone of concern. In my twisted brain it means I'm doing something right.

I know this is the reason I get sick so often. I know that I am not healthy. I know this and so much more and yet it does nothing to change the behaviour and the thinking.

So here's my question for you guys: What do healthy habits look like to you? What do you do to take good care of your body? What do your eating habits look like?

I'm looking to get some perspective.

Lists of vitamins and supplements that help you are welcomed.

Easy recipes are welcomed.

If you've battled this, suggestions of things you've done to overcome it are doubly welcomed.

This is  Sonya Renee performing her poem "The Body Is Not An Apology".